Have You Ever Wished Upon A Star?

Happy days everyone!  Today, and into the foreseeable future, I’m hoping that the earth will continue to revolve on its axis and that we will travel quietly through space along with the rest of the stars in the Milky Way Galaxy.  Even when the earth does move smoothly and quietly, my world doesn’t always go the same!  When those days occur, which I’m happy to say is very rarely, I make minor adjustments until I can get the day running smoothly again.  It usually doesn’t take much, sometimes just a smile in the mirror or a few happy thoughts and I’m feeling as good as new.

On really rough days, it sometimes takes a little more, a little more coaxing of the inner soul back towards the center of my happiness line.  If I have to, I’ll even resort to tickling myself to get me feeling happy again!  I believe that we all can use a little happiness from time to time!   A smile in the morning can stay with us for the whole day!  That’s why I try to start each day with a smile!

Sometimes, during the day, a happy thought, can come my way, or a smile from a stranger, can bring me back to centerline.  Once my mood has returned to the center of my universe, I am usually feeling happy enough to continue tackling the rest of the day!

I start each day with a Stanism, an original essay, that I write and put on Facebook and on my website that hopefully will give others a start to a happy day!  I’ll let you in on a little secret, the Stanisms take a little thought, but they tend to flow out easily and they give me a great start to my day.  I can only hope that they help others to feel better too!  If you’ve ever wished upon a star that your life was running better, then maybe you need to look for a happy thought or a stranger with a smile.  A good way to look, is to take the initiative and smile at a stranger first!  Smiles can be contagious and instantaneous!  Another way, is to start each new day with an original Stanism.  Each one is different and each one is original!  They’re not always earth-shattering, but they can be mood shattering and they can help bring a smile to your day!

A new Stanism can be found by my Facebook friends and by anyone that visits my website page at http://www.bestassistedlivingaids.com/daily_stanism.htm.  I hope that everyone has a beautiful day and that all of your tomorrow’s are happy ones.

Thanks for reading,
Stan

The Day My World Started Moving Again

My wife passed away on 6 August 2012 and on that day not only did she pass away, but for me my world stopped moving! I stopped living and I might as well have passed away with her! For the first few months, I felt very sad and lost. We’d done everything together for nearly 52 years and suddenly I was all by myself. There I was in an empty house with only my son who had been living with us and helping me take care of my wife. He was still there, but for me, I was all alone. My son might have helped me some, but he was not the same as my wife. I couldn’t talk to him about things like I could my wife. We had an intimacy and a relationship that went beyond just companionship and a normal marriage. We had a closeness that was as about as close as two people could get. We did everything together and we told each other everything! We had no secrets, we had nothing to hide! I was her and she was me!

So, on that day in August, 2012, I lost my wife and I lost my life. I didn’t feel like doing anything; I didn’t feel like living! I felt that way for at least three or four months and during that time I jumped in and did things like a madman – I cooked, I baked, I made wine, I made beer, I cleaned, I hiked, I jogged, I kept so busy that I couldn’t hardly keep up with myself. All the keeping busy helped, but I was still all by myself and I was still sad!

One day, I decided to have a talk with myself and see where I was and where I was going. I really believed that someday in the future, I’d get over being sad and that, like I’d read, I’d get to the point of actually being happy again. The conversation went something like this.

“How long will it take for me to be happy again?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but I’ve heard that it usually does work that way!”
“Am I looking at a few years down the road?”
“Actually, I don’t know, but very likely a few years!”
“Well, if you’re going to someday be happy again, why wait?” I asked.
“What choice do I have?”
“You can wait until happiness hopefully finds you again or you can start, right now trying to find happiness!”
“How can I possibly find happiness right now, when I just lost half of me and feel like I can’t go on with half of me missing?”
“There are ways to do it, but you have to quit thinking 24/7 about your wife and how much you miss her!” I told myself.
“How can I possibly just turn off those feelings? That would be impossible and I’d feel like I abandoned her!”
“Would you feel that way in a few years from now?” I asked.
“That would be different!”
“Why?”
“Well, for one thing, I would have a few years to get used to being alone!” I answered. “I would be able to learn to get along without her!”
“You mean you could learn to get along without her in a few years, but you can’t do it now?”
“That’s right! It takes years to get over grief and I’ve just began! Give me time!” I pleaded.
“If you really want to get over the grief and you don’t want to wait for years, you can do something about it!”
“Really? What could I possibly do to speed the process up?” I asked curiously.
“You can start by accepting the fact that your wife really is gone, just like when a pet dies, and you can make a conscience effort to stop constantly thinking about her.”
“But, how can I just stop thinking about her?” I asked.
“It will take lots of work, but it can be done! It’s basically your choice; you can do it now or you can wait years for it to hopefully happen!”
“Well, I don’t really want to wait years, so I am willing to give it a try and see if I really can do it!” I answered, but wasn’t exactly sure about it.

That was the beginning of my getting away from the sadness and starting to live again. I was surprised that I could actually go about the day and not think about my wife. At first, it took a lot of effort and I felt guilty, but then it got easier and I began to feel less guilty and began to feel that I was doing the right thing. I was actually beginning to live again, just like my wife and I had said we should if something ever happened to one of us.

I started to wonder if other people could do the same thing? I don’t know, because I truthfully didn’t think that I could do it. They would have to want to do it and then give it a try, just like I did. All I can say is, that if they can do it, then they will feel much, much better! It worked for me and I hope that it can work for them.

Although my world started moving for me again, a small part of my past will forever be embedded in me and that part will never move. I can live with that; the important thing is that the rest of my world is moving on. I’m once again able to face the future, and I’m happy that I don’t have to wait for the future to be able to do that! To me, a future with a future is better than no future at all, which is what I had a very few months ago!

Today, I’m alive and my world is moving once again! If you want to follow my daily essays about life and living, you can find them in my online store at http://www.bestassistedlivingaids.com/daily_stanism.htm.

Thanks for reading!
Stan

The World According To Stan

Today marks a day of celebrating in the United States.  There are parades, family get-togethers, barbeques, and fireworks!  People fly the the flag and praise the day that occurred 237 years ago when the Declaration of Independence was published and we became an independent nation.  They should, because it’s the patriotic thing to do.  In fact, in my opinion, all nations should have an Independence Day!  I truly hope that someday all the people of the earth will love each other and that we can all get along for the betterment of all!  That day may be far in the future, but I hope that we all do what we can to make it happen.  Then, on that future day, we can have an Independent Earth Day!

When I thought about today’s Stanism, I wrote it from a patriotic point of view and was ready to push the “publish” button when I had second thoughts.  Although, I truly liked what I wrote and thought that it was very appropriate for today, I thought, but it’s really not me, it’s more of a patriotic history essay with just a little Stanism thrown in.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m as patriotic as any true red-blooded American.  I spent 4 years in the Navy and I’m very proud of that!  I fly the flag and I say the pledge of allegiance, but I also write Stanism essays.  Each one is supposed to be unique and each one from the heart.  The first one I wrote today, was not totally from my heart and I discarded it and wrote another one, from my heart.

So, that you’ll know that I really did write two, I’ll show you both of them here.
First one:
Today we celebrate the Fourth of July in the United States!  It all started here on July 2nd 1776, when the Congress secretly voted for independence from Great Britain.  The Declaration of Independence was first published two days later on July 4, 1776.  It is the publication of the Declaration that we celebrate, which was 237 years ago today.  Citizens celebrate the Fourth of July by expressing and giving thanks for the freedom and liberties fought by the first generation of many of today’s Americans.  My hope is that all nations can have their own independence and that we all can live independently in peace.  For today, I hope that everyone everywhere has a beautiful day and a spectacular evening!

Second one and the one I actually published:
Today, we celebrate the Fourth of July in the United States!  There will be parades, family get-togethers, barbeques, and fireworks tonight!  Lots and lots of fun for everyone, right?  Actually, there will be many that won’t participate in a lot of those activities.  There are people that are lonely, like seniors, divorced, widows, widowers, some single people, and even some married people.  It’s different for them!  They have to cope in a fun-filled world while they themselves sit lonely and possibly crying.  So, today if you are one of those that are not listed then feel very fortunate and celebrate for all it’s worth, but please try to remember those that are listed, for they also need to feel loved.  For those that are listed, please do your best to get through the day!  There is and will be better days coming for you – You just have to believe!  I hope everyone has a beautiful day!

I hope you like both and many of you might like the first one better, but please remember that the second one is totally from my heart and it’s written for all those that won’t, because of many reasons, be able to join in on all the day’s activities.  Sometimes in life we have to just try to survive and that’s not always easy.  And, sometimes even Stan has to be true to himself.  Today, is one of those times!

On a day that many people will celebrate and be totally lost in all the fun and festivities, I hope that all people everywhere will take the time to cherish the moment in which they live.  Whether they are by themselves or not, they can still celebrate.  Today, is a wonderful day to celebrate all that you have.  If you truly make a list of everything that you are currently blessed with, you may find more on it than you thought there’d be.  Why might there be more, because we sometimes remain too focused on the past and not on what we really have today.  We should always remember that yesterday is gone and our tomorrows have yet to come.  Today, we have many things surrounding us – yesterday’s memories, today’s actual things and people that do love us, and we have tomorrow’s dreams.  If we all will just take a moment to close our eyes and think about what we have today, I think we may be pleasantly surprised.  However, it’s been my experiences that to really see what we have today, we have to be receptive to what lies before us.  Sometimes, it’s not easy to  see what we have.  We may be too emotional and to focused on how sad we are.

I hope that today you will look carefully at all that you have and, at the same time, remember all that you had.  What you have today needs it’s full attention, but you also need to carry any past memories with you.  Any future happiness that may come, can be helped by dreaming today.  Dreams can become reality, but remember, that they are not real until they happen!

On this beautiful Fourth of July, I hope that you find happiness with what you have today and that all your future dreams come true.  

Thanks for reading,
Stan
PS. You can find the Daily Stanism on my Facebook page and at: http://www.bestassistedlivingaids.com/daily_stanism.htm 

I Died, But I Didn’t Go To Heaven

I died the day my wife died on 6 August 2012.  On that day, at just shortly after noon, she died and along with her death, I felt as though I’d personally died also.  We’d been happily married for over 52 years and we had three beautiful sons, many grandchildren, and even a couple of great grandchildren to show for it.  For nearly 52 years, we were one and we did everything together.  It was as about a perfect a marriage as one could hope for.  We went through alot together over the years and unfortunately, although she had many medical issues, it was gangrene that finally took her life.  Taking care of my wife during the last few years was very, very hard at times, but I never complained, and personally feel that I’d be more than willing to continue on forever, or as long as I could.

However, no matter what I wanted to do or planned to do, my life ended on 6 August 2012. I believe that my wife went to Heaven and I thought that I would go right along with her, but I soon discovered that, although she was gone, that I was still here and I was still alive.  As more time went by, I fully realized that I, indeed, was still on earth, but I didn’t feel like I was alive!  Half of me died that day in the hospital.  For the first few months, I believed that I would forever be depressed and would only come out of my state of sadness when I joined my wife in Heaven.  One day, as I was feeling very sad, I got to thinking about myself, about my life, my future, and what I would do in the coming years until I actually joined back up with her.  I couldn’t envision myself still being that sad until I finally died.  How long I’d have to live, I had no idea, but I began to feel like my life might not be quite over yet, even though at first, I did.  However, I’d read where people who’d lost their spouses, or loved ones, never got over the loss and lived by themselves in a state of sadness, which is depression, for the rest of their lives.  I am realistic and thought what if I’m like they are for the rest of my life.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could possibly continue life on earth without my wife and all by myself.  If I was going to do that though, then I thought that I should try to decide how I was going to live my life.  There were many possibilities, but it really boiled down to just two choices – I could live happily forever by myself or be open to living happily with someone else should the opportunity ever present itself!  The first choice was the easiest to accept, however, I got to thinking about what my wife and I had talked about over the years.  We’d told each other that should something happen to one of us that we wanted the other to be happy and to find someone else to be happy with.  When we told each other that though, it seemed like we were discussing something that would never happen!  Then, when I actually faced that situation, it was entirely different and I wasn’t sure if I could follow through with “our” wishes.

The more I thought about it, the more I believed that my wife was right, we were both right, and that I should try to abide with her wish.  If I truly put my mind to it, I believed that I could possibly live again and live happily with someone else and, simultaneously, with my wife’s memory.

From that day on, I’ve been a changed person and started to believe that I can have a continuing life on earth and be happy while I’m doing it.  At about that time, I started realizing that I could help myself and I could possibly help other people by being positive and showing others that life after death was possible.  I’ve gotten a job at Walmart and I fully enjoy making people there smile, both fellow associates and customers!  And, I’ve started writing a daily inspirational essay which I put on Facebook and in my Online Hearing Loss Store at http://www.bestassistedlivingaids.com/daily_stanism.htm.

I hope that you and everyone enjoys my blog and my Daily Stanism and most importantly I hope that they help you cope with life.  Believe it or not, they help me just as much as they help other people.  My life has become richer once again and I have come to believe that I could live happily with someone else!  I’ve also come to believe that life is very precious and much more fragile than we sometimes think.

So, in closing, I’d like to say that I didn’t die and go to Heaven on 6 August 2012, but my wife did, and I’ll keep her memories with me till I join her again someday.  And, if I should find someone else to live with, then she’ll join me and my wife in Heaven too.  I hope that everyone appreciates what they have and who they have it with.  Few things in life are worth losing and a loved one is definitely not one of them.

Thanks for reading,
Stan

Are You Alive or is it only an Illusion?

Life doesn’t always go the way we’d like it to. Sometimes, plans change and our life changes. People that we love, sometimes more than one, die and we are faced with moving on without them. To lose a loved one is one of the most terrible things that can happen in life. When that happens, we must make choices and we should think about a few things before making those choices.

There are three places in life that we each face at any given moment – Yesterday, Right Now (Today), and Tomorrow! No matter how much we loved yesterday, it is gone and it will be forever, but all the memories will live on forever! That’s the beauty of life, people die, but people also still live and for every person that dies a new child is born. Right Now, is with us today and will be till the clock strikes midnight and signals that the day has come to an end. Today, while it’s still with us, we can dream! When tomorrow comes, those dreams can become real and they can give us something to look forward to in the tomorrows to come. It’s one thing to dream, but we also have to be ready and willing to accept the future what is represented in those dreams.

When the one, or one’s, we love die, then we lose everything, or do we? The answer is no, we don’t lose everything, we just at that moment believe we do, because it can feel like it. The tomorrows that we dream about today have the potential to bring us new love and a new life that is as good as or even sometimes better than the one we had. It’s very difficult to imagine a life with anyone that could be better, but it is possible and, believe it or not, it does happen.

When looking at the future, we need to look back, way back, at the past. Back before we met the one we loved, did we know that they existed? Most of the time the answer is no. Before we knew that they existed, we probably dreamed and we may have dreamed of a better life, especially if we were single. The key point is that we didn’t know that they existed!

We need to think about that for a moment! If we didn’t know that our loved one existed then, how can we possibly know that a new one won’t exist in our future. The answer is, we can’t. The good news is that the future could hold a beautiful life that today we can only dream about. The bad news is that unless we dream and are willing to allow those dreams to become real, we’ll never know. Those beautiful dreams might die, just like the loved one that we lost.

So, for today, at this moment in time, we should dream of beautiful tomorrow’s. They can lie in our future and we should try to see if they exist! The only way to do that is to make sure we complete our todays and travel to our tomorrows with an open mind! We have the choice of whether to continue living or to just hang on as an illusion! I hope you choose life!

Thanks for reading and I truly hope that all your dreams come true!

Stan

PS. You can receive free daily inspirational essays at http://www.bestassistedlivingaids.com/daily_stanism.htm.

A Million Reasons to Live

There are a million reasons to live, but it really boils down to only one. Life is a blessing and not everyone gets the chance to live it. Many are never born and they will never know how wonderful life can be. Several people that are born, think that they are suffering and can’t stand to live each day. However, even those that are depressed and those that suffer from pain, still have the same reason to live – they were born and they are alive.

Before I get too far into my blog today, I want to take a moment to thank all the wonderful people that have followed me since I started writing my blog over two years ago. I personally want to thank you and hope that you have enjoyed my blog. I love writing and I love people.

For anyone that is not aware of it, I’ve combined my two loves and started writing a daily inspirational essay I call a “Stanism”. Each Stanism reflects my philosophy of life and is written to help people cope with their daily living. I’ve always been a very positive person and try to look at everything in a positive light. I smile a lot and I like to cheer people up. When I see someone smiling after I smile at them, it makes me feel so much better.

I started working at our local Walmart store here in Cottage Grove three months ago and I love the work and the people. I like interacting with the other employees and with customers. It gives me great satisfaction to be able to make a small child smile. If you are ever in the area, I’d like you to stop in and say hello. I promise to do my best to smile and make you welcome in our store!

I write my daily Stanism and put it on Facebook where friends can read them and, at the urging of a fellow Facebook friend, I started putting them in my online store on a page called, of course, “Daily Stanism”. I put them in my store, because I already had the store and found it easy to add another page. It’s not necessary to look at any of the other pages in my store, unless you want to. I would rather that I inspire people with my daily essay’s than if I sold them anything. I sincerely hope that people enjoy my essays and I hope that it helps them to smile along with me.

If you are interested in following my daily essays, they can be found at

http://www.bestassistedlivingaids.com/daily_stanism.htm.

Thanks for reading! I hope that you smile often and have a nice day,
Stan