Have You Ever Wished Upon A Star?

Happy days everyone!  Today, and into the foreseeable future, I’m hoping that the earth will continue to revolve on its axis and that we will travel quietly through space along with the rest of the stars in the Milky Way Galaxy.  Even when the earth does move smoothly and quietly, my world doesn’t always go the same!  When those days occur, which I’m happy to say is very rarely, I make minor adjustments until I can get the day running smoothly again.  It usually doesn’t take much, sometimes just a smile in the mirror or a few happy thoughts and I’m feeling as good as new.

On really rough days, it sometimes takes a little more, a little more coaxing of the inner soul back towards the center of my happiness line.  If I have to, I’ll even resort to tickling myself to get me feeling happy again!  I believe that we all can use a little happiness from time to time!   A smile in the morning can stay with us for the whole day!  That’s why I try to start each day with a smile!

Sometimes, during the day, a happy thought, can come my way, or a smile from a stranger, can bring me back to centerline.  Once my mood has returned to the center of my universe, I am usually feeling happy enough to continue tackling the rest of the day!

I start each day with a Stanism, an original essay, that I write and put on Facebook and on my website that hopefully will give others a start to a happy day!  I’ll let you in on a little secret, the Stanisms take a little thought, but they tend to flow out easily and they give me a great start to my day.  I can only hope that they help others to feel better too!  If you’ve ever wished upon a star that your life was running better, then maybe you need to look for a happy thought or a stranger with a smile.  A good way to look, is to take the initiative and smile at a stranger first!  Smiles can be contagious and instantaneous!  Another way, is to start each new day with an original Stanism.  Each one is different and each one is original!  They’re not always earth-shattering, but they can be mood shattering and they can help bring a smile to your day!

A new Stanism can be found by my Facebook friends and by anyone that visits my website page at http://www.bestassistedlivingaids.com/daily_stanism.htm.  I hope that everyone has a beautiful day and that all of your tomorrow’s are happy ones.

Thanks for reading,


The Day My World Started Moving Again

My wife passed away on 6 August 2012 and on that day not only did she pass away, but for me my world stopped moving! I stopped living and I might as well have passed away with her! For the first few months, I felt very sad and lost. We’d done everything together for nearly 52 years and suddenly I was all by myself. There I was in an empty house with only my son who had been living with us and helping me take care of my wife. He was still there, but for me, I was all alone. My son might have helped me some, but he was not the same as my wife. I couldn’t talk to him about things like I could my wife. We had an intimacy and a relationship that went beyond just companionship and a normal marriage. We had a closeness that was as about as close as two people could get. We did everything together and we told each other everything! We had no secrets, we had nothing to hide! I was her and she was me!

So, on that day in August, 2012, I lost my wife and I lost my life. I didn’t feel like doing anything; I didn’t feel like living! I felt that way for at least three or four months and during that time I jumped in and did things like a madman – I cooked, I baked, I made wine, I made beer, I cleaned, I hiked, I jogged, I kept so busy that I couldn’t hardly keep up with myself. All the keeping busy helped, but I was still all by myself and I was still sad!

One day, I decided to have a talk with myself and see where I was and where I was going. I really believed that someday in the future, I’d get over being sad and that, like I’d read, I’d get to the point of actually being happy again. The conversation went something like this.

“How long will it take for me to be happy again?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but I’ve heard that it usually does work that way!”
“Am I looking at a few years down the road?”
“Actually, I don’t know, but very likely a few years!”
“Well, if you’re going to someday be happy again, why wait?” I asked.
“What choice do I have?”
“You can wait until happiness hopefully finds you again or you can start, right now trying to find happiness!”
“How can I possibly find happiness right now, when I just lost half of me and feel like I can’t go on with half of me missing?”
“There are ways to do it, but you have to quit thinking 24/7 about your wife and how much you miss her!” I told myself.
“How can I possibly just turn off those feelings? That would be impossible and I’d feel like I abandoned her!”
“Would you feel that way in a few years from now?” I asked.
“That would be different!”
“Well, for one thing, I would have a few years to get used to being alone!” I answered. “I would be able to learn to get along without her!”
“You mean you could learn to get along without her in a few years, but you can’t do it now?”
“That’s right! It takes years to get over grief and I’ve just began! Give me time!” I pleaded.
“If you really want to get over the grief and you don’t want to wait for years, you can do something about it!”
“Really? What could I possibly do to speed the process up?” I asked curiously.
“You can start by accepting the fact that your wife really is gone, just like when a pet dies, and you can make a conscience effort to stop constantly thinking about her.”
“But, how can I just stop thinking about her?” I asked.
“It will take lots of work, but it can be done! It’s basically your choice; you can do it now or you can wait years for it to hopefully happen!”
“Well, I don’t really want to wait years, so I am willing to give it a try and see if I really can do it!” I answered, but wasn’t exactly sure about it.

That was the beginning of my getting away from the sadness and starting to live again. I was surprised that I could actually go about the day and not think about my wife. At first, it took a lot of effort and I felt guilty, but then it got easier and I began to feel less guilty and began to feel that I was doing the right thing. I was actually beginning to live again, just like my wife and I had said we should if something ever happened to one of us.

I started to wonder if other people could do the same thing? I don’t know, because I truthfully didn’t think that I could do it. They would have to want to do it and then give it a try, just like I did. All I can say is, that if they can do it, then they will feel much, much better! It worked for me and I hope that it can work for them.

Although my world started moving for me again, a small part of my past will forever be embedded in me and that part will never move. I can live with that; the important thing is that the rest of my world is moving on. I’m once again able to face the future, and I’m happy that I don’t have to wait for the future to be able to do that! To me, a future with a future is better than no future at all, which is what I had a very few months ago!

Today, I’m alive and my world is moving once again! If you want to follow my daily essays about life and living, you can find them in my online store at http://www.bestassistedlivingaids.com/daily_stanism.htm.

Thanks for reading!

The World According To Stan

Today marks a day of celebrating in the United States.  There are parades, family get-togethers, barbeques, and fireworks!  People fly the the flag and praise the day that occurred 237 years ago when the Declaration of Independence was published and we became an independent nation.  They should, because it’s the patriotic thing to do.  In fact, in my opinion, all nations should have an Independence Day!  I truly hope that someday all the people of the earth will love each other and that we can all get along for the betterment of all!  That day may be far in the future, but I hope that we all do what we can to make it happen.  Then, on that future day, we can have an Independent Earth Day!

When I thought about today’s Stanism, I wrote it from a patriotic point of view and was ready to push the “publish” button when I had second thoughts.  Although, I truly liked what I wrote and thought that it was very appropriate for today, I thought, but it’s really not me, it’s more of a patriotic history essay with just a little Stanism thrown in.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m as patriotic as any true red-blooded American.  I spent 4 years in the Navy and I’m very proud of that!  I fly the flag and I say the pledge of allegiance, but I also write Stanism essays.  Each one is supposed to be unique and each one from the heart.  The first one I wrote today, was not totally from my heart and I discarded it and wrote another one, from my heart.

So, that you’ll know that I really did write two, I’ll show you both of them here.
First one:
Today we celebrate the Fourth of July in the United States!  It all started here on July 2nd 1776, when the Congress secretly voted for independence from Great Britain.  The Declaration of Independence was first published two days later on July 4, 1776.  It is the publication of the Declaration that we celebrate, which was 237 years ago today.  Citizens celebrate the Fourth of July by expressing and giving thanks for the freedom and liberties fought by the first generation of many of today’s Americans.  My hope is that all nations can have their own independence and that we all can live independently in peace.  For today, I hope that everyone everywhere has a beautiful day and a spectacular evening!

Second one and the one I actually published:
Today, we celebrate the Fourth of July in the United States!  There will be parades, family get-togethers, barbeques, and fireworks tonight!  Lots and lots of fun for everyone, right?  Actually, there will be many that won’t participate in a lot of those activities.  There are people that are lonely, like seniors, divorced, widows, widowers, some single people, and even some married people.  It’s different for them!  They have to cope in a fun-filled world while they themselves sit lonely and possibly crying.  So, today if you are one of those that are not listed then feel very fortunate and celebrate for all it’s worth, but please try to remember those that are listed, for they also need to feel loved.  For those that are listed, please do your best to get through the day!  There is and will be better days coming for you – You just have to believe!  I hope everyone has a beautiful day!

I hope you like both and many of you might like the first one better, but please remember that the second one is totally from my heart and it’s written for all those that won’t, because of many reasons, be able to join in on all the day’s activities.  Sometimes in life we have to just try to survive and that’s not always easy.  And, sometimes even Stan has to be true to himself.  Today, is one of those times!

On a day that many people will celebrate and be totally lost in all the fun and festivities, I hope that all people everywhere will take the time to cherish the moment in which they live.  Whether they are by themselves or not, they can still celebrate.  Today, is a wonderful day to celebrate all that you have.  If you truly make a list of everything that you are currently blessed with, you may find more on it than you thought there’d be.  Why might there be more, because we sometimes remain too focused on the past and not on what we really have today.  We should always remember that yesterday is gone and our tomorrows have yet to come.  Today, we have many things surrounding us – yesterday’s memories, today’s actual things and people that do love us, and we have tomorrow’s dreams.  If we all will just take a moment to close our eyes and think about what we have today, I think we may be pleasantly surprised.  However, it’s been my experiences that to really see what we have today, we have to be receptive to what lies before us.  Sometimes, it’s not easy to  see what we have.  We may be too emotional and to focused on how sad we are.

I hope that today you will look carefully at all that you have and, at the same time, remember all that you had.  What you have today needs it’s full attention, but you also need to carry any past memories with you.  Any future happiness that may come, can be helped by dreaming today.  Dreams can become reality, but remember, that they are not real until they happen!

On this beautiful Fourth of July, I hope that you find happiness with what you have today and that all your future dreams come true.  

Thanks for reading,
PS. You can find the Daily Stanism on my Facebook page and at: http://www.bestassistedlivingaids.com/daily_stanism.htm